


What's Two Years?

by Ruunkur



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-13 20:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11767464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruunkur/pseuds/Ruunkur
Summary: Your name is John Egbert.For years, you have been having nightmares without end. You hear voices that you cannot pin. But you know them. And you don't have words for it.You can't summarize your life worth shit. It's countless summer days in your father's bakery, school, sleepless nights, nightmares dragging you down. But you try your best. You're a kid, growing up is hard. But you do try.Your name is John Egbert.Your summer is about to be fucked sideways and upways. Time to buckle up and enjoy the ride, you think.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Think of this as a prologue.
> 
> Uncertain on chapter count. Not sure about pairings, as that's up in the air. Not sure if it will even *focus* on pairings. Title is a work in process, may be changing it if I come up with a better one. Trolls and humans live together.
> 
> Fun fact: Not part of Rising Up From Ashes.  
> Also leaving for WA in like...two days to go goat farming. I plan on this being a short fanfic that I can hopefully finish between now and then. I will do my best to finish it even if I don't finish it within the next two or so days.

_"John!"_

_"John, remember that we have to be careful!"_

_"Fuck, you can't!"_

_"I swear to troll Jesus John, if you don't-"_

_"Wouldn't troll Jesus just be your ancestor?"_

_"Don't worry, I'll be fine! I'll be able to do this right!"_

_"I do not think that this is wise."_

_"Please let's reconsider."_

_"No, it has to be done! I can do it!"_

_"No, you ca-"_

_Too late, the voices fade as the dark moves around you, growing darker still. The voices that comforted you for so long, the voices that made you scream yourself awake nearly every night since you were young, fade into the darkness, growing silent for the first time. That's when the deafening silence gets to you. You can't see in this dream, you're wandering blind. You reach up, touching your eyes and feeling-_

Your alarm screeches for you to get up. You lean over, fumbling with your phone and hitting the snooze button, eyes still closed. You were so close to progressing in the dreams, you just knew it. Already you can hear the clatter of someone moving in the bakery downstairs and you feel stiff and groggy. It's barely four in the morning, still dark outside. However... While it is summer, you did promise your father that you would help him in the shop.

You get out of bed when you realize that the dream will not come to you. You get dressed, turning over the progress you had made.

You feel like you're going through a cycle each day. Summer break barely started a week ago, but already you feel like it has dragged on for months. You see some familiar faces in the surge of customers but you find yourself looking for a pair of rounded glasses, red eyes, a sophisticated smirk, nubby horns....? Anything that seems like they would belong to the voices in your dreams. Anything that was more familiar to you than the classmates you spent years going to school with.

You finish pulling up your pants and quickly run a brush through your hair. You push the glasses up on your nose just a tad before heading downstairs. Already your father was getting deserts ready and you jump right in, glad to help with set up. It would take less time with two people and you would be able to open just a tad earlier than you would have normally.

"How'd you sleep last night?" Your dad asks and you glance at him.

"Same as usual," you say with a shrug. Both of you had racked your brains over what to do with the dreams when you were younger and it cost you hours of sleep. You had talked to countless doctors, different doctors, about it and nothing ever really helped. So, you had decided, as long as the dreams didn't affect your school work too badly, you would be fine. And if there were days that you needed the extra sleep, your father certainly understood. "Did you enjoy your night last night?"

"Bingo is just not the same without your nana," your dad says and you smile at him. It had been several years since your grandmother died, but it still pained both you and he to think of her passing. She had put up with so much when you were younger and your mother had died in an untimely accident. "But I did win a nice dinner for two at a local buffet."

"You should take someone out." You say, drying your hands. You walk over to the front door, unlocking it and flipping on the 'open' sign with a smile. The bakery was something it seemed like your father always wanted to do. And he got a chance when you moved to this town at the tender age of eleven. It had been a dream come true for him and you were glad to help him with all your heart.

You frown at the thought, wondering why the timing didn't seem right before shaking your head to rid yourself of it.

"What say you and me take the evening off, head out early, and get us a nice buffet dinner?" Dad suggests, breaking into your train of thought and you nod in agreement, turning to him with a quick smile.

"That sounds like a great plan!" You head to behind the counter, finishing setting up the baked goods case when the door rings. You glance up and smile, catching sight of the teenager that walked in. "Good morning! What can I do for you?" You ask, a tray of donuts being slid into the case.

"Sup, can I get a piece of Egbert ass?" The guy asks, staring at you and you're glad your dad is in the backroom.

You freeze, looking into the shades. Then you blink, a tray of donuts in your hands as you hear the door ring, no one in front of you, the donuts no longer in the case? You shake your head to clear it, thinking it had been a trick.

"Good morning, please let me know if you need any help!" You say, putting the donuts in the case and taking a breath. Maybe the lack of sleep was making you start to unravel. You would talk to your dad and see if you couldn't get more sleep tomorrow and help him with the afternoon and clean up instead.

"Good morning, may I get a baker's dozen?" The blonde haired teenager asks, her voice prim and sharp. You look up, meeting her lavander... No, hazel gaze with another polite smile.

"Sure, what would you like?" You ask, adjusting your glasses with the back of your hand. You bend down, setting a box on the counter and grabbing a clean set of gloves and tongs to pull out the requested donuts.

"Three chocolate sprinkle, two coffee, four plain... Oh dear, what do you think would be good for the other five?" The teenager asks. "I did not get a clear list of what my friends wanted before stepping in. Most of them are actually still sleeping."

"The cream filled is always a popular option, as is the coconut donut. We did spice up the recipe recently on our bear claws, and... My personal favorites are the oreos cookies and cream! Those are a limited time only." You say with a smile. "Then there's the cinnamon twist and also apple fritters. They're all made fresh,"

"Oh dear, I suppose I will have to go with two oreos cookies and cream, one cinnamon twist, and an apple fritter." She decides, looking over the donuts with a keen eye.

"And the thirteenth?" You ask.

"Oh, and a bear claw." The teenager decides, pulling out her wallet.

"Pardon my asking, but you look familiar. Do you go to the local high school here?" You ask as you work on getting donuts out.

"Oh, no. My friends and I are on a road trip before the start of our senior year. We'll be in town for a couple of weeks though." She says with a smile. "I have heard that I look very similar to the famous scientist Roxanne Lalonde. Have you heard of her?"

"Never heard of her," you admit. "Not a huge fan of the sciences though." You add quickly, not wanting to disappoint this teenager. You glance up, about to say a greeting when another teenager walks in, tilting her head to get through the door. You stare, trying to take in the strange sight of the newcomer.

"Rose, there has been a request to get about three dozen donuts instead of the original one dozen that was planned." She says and you quickly close your mouth, pulling out donuts and placing them in the box. You had heard of other parts of the world where trolls and humans intermingled just fine, but in your town, hardly no one had seen a troll up close and lived to tell the tale. If they did, then they didn't speak of it at the least. You were taken in by the sheer elegance of the troll as she walked through the door, as if there were no worries that she could not take care of, even having to be careful to not smack her horns.

"Oh dear, has shouty woken up?" The blonde haired teenager, Rose you remind yourself, asks with a sigh. "I was hoping he wouldn't until we got to the hotel."

"Yes, and he is rather cranky." The troll smiles, glancing at you. "He says that the smell of such delicious, baked goods woke him, but I do not see how that is possible as Dave had a pillow strapped over his mouth to block out some of the snoring."

"Dear, that is such a strange idea..." Rose smiles and you clear your throat.

"Would you like more donuts?" You ask, hearing your dad finishing up in the kitchen. You feel small standing behind the counter, watching these two girls talk back and forth. You feel as if you do not exist within their world view.

"Yes please, another two dozen. Same as the first box, if you don't mind." Rose says with a smile.

You nod and start to fill the other two boxes, glancing at the still dark night. "Anything else I can do for you?" You ask.

"Do you have any suggestions on what would be good for a fun time?" The troll asks with a smile, her fangs making you give her a second glance.

You swallow, trying to think of things to do. "There's the..." You were never one for enjoying things to do around town, focusing on school and the bakery when you recall the fliers you had seen yesterday. "Oh! The carnival that's in town is always a good idea to go visit! Though... We don't usually get trolls up this far west..."

"Oh, we will have to go tomorrow then, thank you for the suggestion. As for the other thing... We are quite prepared to deal with-" Rose begins, only to be cut off by rather loud shouting. You wince at the volume.

"Why are you nookstains taking so long with the fucking sugary substances?" A voice demands, overtaking the ringing of the bell on the shop. You glance at the new comer in surprise, looking at a... To be honest, you couldn't figure out if he was short or just permanently slumped into the shuffling, hunched position. While studying the newcomer, you see the horns hidden in his hair and you let out a soft whistle at how small they were.

"We were just about to pay Karkat. I see Dave has decided to let you out of your restraints." Rose says, turning to look at him with a sigh.

"Dave says donuts. I wasn't going to let him hold me back from the pure deliciousness that is the goodness of home baked, made with love donuts Rose! That's the best reason to wake up. I need those donuts in my vast existence that is a joke called humanity. Kanaya would agree, I'm sure. Donuts will always make things better." the grumpy troll says, eyes trained on Rose before he glances your way, his red colored eyes seeming to widen when he takes you in. "Holy fuc-"

The troll, Kanaya, slaps her hand over Karkat's mouth, taking a step towards the door. "I will get Karkat back in the-"

"Damn it,"

Your father comes out at that last curse, startled by the gaggle of teenagers in his store as a blonde haired teenager, who looks like a sibling to Rose, bursts through the door. "Please do not curse in my bakery." He says with a stern frown.

"Sorry, I forgot to chain the rabid troll to its cage." Dave says, shooting Karkat a glare. "We're supposed to stay in the bus Karkitty."

"Oh no, you don't fucking get to start with the past friend's nicknames. That is not a river, nor an entire ocean of genetic material that I am ever willing to let anyone ever cross so erase it from your rotted thinkpan Strider! And I am not rabid!" Karkat seethes, teeth bared. Though he's quite loud despite his words being half growled. Kanaya pulls away her now bleeding hand with a raised eyebrow, shaking her head sadly at him.

"We check him regularly for rabies," Dave agrees. "We're up to date on all of our shots."

"Fuck you Strider," Karkat snaps, shoving his hands in the pockets of his pants. His eyes are still trained on you and you shift slightly, uncomfortable by his gaze.

"Children, I can't take you anywhere." Rose sighs, putting a hand to her forehead. "I apologize for my friends' and sibling rude language Mr....?"

"Mr. Egbert," your dad says with a nod, though he's still frowning and looking over you all. "Are you teenagers with an adult...?"

"We are not. We're seniors in high school. We are on a cross country trip and none of our parents or lusii were able to come. I do apologize for my friends and brother's attitude and mouthy issues so early in the morning. We have been driving for most of the night and it seems like everyone is hungrier than I thought." Rose says with a small flourish.

"Oh, of course. My apologizes. I would like you to keep the noise down just a bit, if you don't mind." Your dad says and Rose nods. He disappears back into the kitchen and you feel awkward standing behind the counter.

"I'll check you out." You say, watching Dave tug on Karkat's arm before the troll finally followed the human out of the shop. You feel a headache developing as you take off the disposable gloves. Kanaya flashes you a smile full of fangs, taking the boxes as the bell rings again. You glance up as you hear a cane tapping, Rose seeming to take a deep breath in preparation of dealing with the new hassle.

"It smells delicious in here!" The newcomer says and you take in another troll, all sharp angles and a cane in hand.

"Hello Terezi, we are going back to the bus now." Kanaya says, adjusting her grip on the boxes and turning Terezi back towards the door. "Please tell me Vriska and the others did not scatter at the first chance."

"Vriska?" You glance up from the register, feeling a hint of recognition at the name. Strange, you wouldn't have met someone with a name like that. "Is she a troll as well?"

"Yes," Rose says, her gaze landing on you. You feel like she's peering into your soul and you swallow back the feeling of regret. "How'd you guess?"

"Rose," Kanaya warns over her shoulder. "We need to leave soon if we want them to stay in the vehicle."

"The name format," you say to answer Rose, ringing up the donuts and giving her a total. "Six letters, right?" The excuse is something you learned last year. Trolls took six letters for the first and last name, taking on a title upon being a legal adult. Most trolls ended up not coming back to the planet upon joining the bulk of their race in space. Some did, if they had strong enough ties. You had a feeling these trolls with the humans would stay planetside.

The trolls helped protect your planet from several hostile planets already, and it made you feel safer.

"How very interesting," Rose says with a smile, swiping a card and paying for the donuts once you put in the total. "We may be back. Your donuts smell absolutely delicious." You watch the trio leave the shop, staring in their wake as Terezi tries to protest, gesturing back towards the shop before being dragged onto a rather interesting bus.

"Well, that was certainly the most exciting morning I've had in awhile," Mr. Egbert says with a smile at you.

"Hey, I know I said I would help you... But do you mind if I go to the carnival tomorrow?" You ask, glancing at your dad.

"Sure, you shouldn't spend your entire summer trapped in the bakery." Mr. Egbert says with a smile and you relax, turning to greet and help the next group of customers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you see the name Warhammer of Zillyhoo, imagine the lovely song playing with each thought of the name.
> 
> I was very tired when I wrote this chapter. Enjoy!

You make your way down the semi-empty streets to where the carnival is located. You're breathless, your father having practically chased you out of the bakery just moments before. You recall dreams of darkness, no more voices. It makes you happy that they have more than likely decided to leave you be for the time being. The thought also makes you laugh. The darkness still causes you to jolt awake, sweating. Who knew emptiness could be so...pressing?

You push the thoughts of emptiness from your mind and continue your walk to the carnival, set up just outside of the small town. You marvel at it, recalling the days when you went to similar ones in your home town with your dad and mom. You feel light as wind as you walk, your small satchel holding a couple of pastries your father gave you from the shop to eat if you got too hungry, along with money enough to keep yourself entertained for the entire day, junk food to be included.

"No Dave, I swear I smell those god awful, amazingly delicious pastries coming from this way!"

You glance over your shoulder, taking a step to the side when you see two of the teenagers from yesterday coming down the walkway, Dave groaning into a hand pressed against his face, his next words muffled. "How could you possibly smell them? We are nowhere near the bakery Karkit."

"Just as bad, fuck off you ass!" Karkat snapped. "I did not come all this way for some upstart of a human to deliver upon me ironic nicknames when my name is perfectly fine, thank you very fucking much. There is no reason to go dragging my name through mud Strider, and I would appreciate it if you stopped." Karkat glares at Dave, having stopped to glare at him and wait for him to catch up to him.

"Uhm, hi?" You say, watching the two as they stop and turn to look at you. "My dad sent me out with some extra pastries he made this morning. I'm not going to eat them. Would you like them?" You ask, glancing between the two kids.

"Oh hell yes, I want them." Karkat says, staring at you with wide eyes. He looks like you have just given him the best gift any mortal possibly could before you pull pastries from your satchel.

"One condition," you say, holding up a finger. The two look at each other, Dave grimacing.

"It depends on the condition-" He begins, Karkat interrupting.

"Can I just please get the magicalness that is your lusus figure's cooking?" Karkat demands.

"Fuck KK, when did you learn manners?"

You whirl, surprise coloring your face when you see another troll, double horns, staring you down.

"Sollux, they're the amazing pastries from yesterday. I will be polite if it means I get more of them." Karkat says, jabbing a finger in your direction.

"What are your names?" You ask. "Sollux, Karkat, and Dave, right?" You ask, holding out the bag of pastries. "And... Uhm, I can get you guys more if you let me hang out with you at the carnival?"

"This guy's pathetic," Sollux decides, hands in his pockets. "What sort of kid asks us if we can hang out with him? Who would even want to hang out with our miserable group of douchebags anyway?"

"The only douchebag I'm looking at is you." Karkat shoots back at Sollux.

"The sort of kid that doesn't have many or any friends." You grumble. "My name's John. John Egbert,"

"Sure, you can hang out with us." Dave says with a shrug, his back straightening. "What's the harm in having him hang with us one day Karkat, Sollux?"

"I guess not," Karkat grumbles. "But... Can I please get the pastries?"

"Oh yeah, sure!" You say with a grin, tossing the pastries to him. Karkat catches them, pulling out a donut and sniffing it happily. 

"What are so great about these?" Sollux asks, walking over to Karkat and looking at them. "They're just pastries."

"These are the tiny pieces of heaven that this hellhole is missing." Karkat says and Sollux rolls his eyes while you hold back a laugh. "Look Sollux, you have to have at least the tiny bit of taste buds to understand the gloriousness that is the Egbert cooking. Damn, I know exactly what my godless, loveless life has been leading to all of these years. I do not think I could ever bare to leave this shit hole of a town behind just because of these pieces of amazing heaven."

"You're overdoing it again KK." Sollux says, glancing at him with a raised eyebrow. "Besides, I wouldn't know what these magical pastries tasted like cause some asshole didn't bother waking me up to feast on the amazingness. Or save me any,"

"Right, here." Karkat says, handing Sollux a donut. Sollux looks down at it, raising an eyebrow.

"Is this...?" He frowns, sniffing at it.

"Honey based donut," you supply. "If you all want to swing by the shop tomorrow, I could probably pass out some samples or something. We're slow on Wednesdays more often than not and end up baking too much. We tend to give the leftovers to those that need it so they don't go stale for the next day." You explain, rubbing the back of your neck. You feel self conscious as two pair of troll eyes and a pair of shades stare at you.

"KK's right..." Sollux says, breaking into the silence and taking a bite of the donut and swallowing it. "This is the best donut I've had in awhile."

"Thanks! I've been working on that recipe for a couple of months now. I'm glad it finally turned out well," you smile, Dave threading his arm through yours and beginning to walk towards the carnival. You move along with him, surprised by the contact.

"We may just have to take you up on that offer. Keeping fifteen hungry teenagers fed is becoming quite a challenge." Dave says, face straight. "I don't know how Rose manages to keep some of them on a feeding schedule."

"There's no way there are fifteen of you." You protest, glancing at him. You're the same height, Karkat and Sollux bickering behind you about which pastry was truly the best out of what you gave them.

"Yep, six trolls and seven humans." Dave grins. "There would have been another troll but.... What happened to Gamzee, Karkat? Have we heard from him at all?"

"Vriska and Terezi lost track of the dumb clown sometime last year. Last they said, he probably joined a circus or something. There's not much planetside that we can do if we want to be in line with government laws and shit. If you ask me, they should have kept a better eye on him. Or left him to-" Karkat hisses as Sollux stamps on his foot, his gaze darting to you. Karkat takes a step away from him, eating the last pastry just to spite him. "Honestly, as long as he doesn't start killing, I think we're in the clear?"

"Wait, you guys know a murderous clown?" You ask, eyes wide. Everything you remember about clowns and harlequins when you were younger was coming back to you. It was terrible and you had no intentions of running face to face with clowns at this carnival. If there were going to be clowns, you would go the other way.

"No," Karkat and Sollux say quickly. Dave shakes his head, letting out a sigh as you walk. There are more people now and he seemed ready to be off the subject of this.

"Someone we used to associate with in our younger years. He went a bit crazy a while back and we haven't actually seen him since." Dave explains. "Remind me to get on their case about it later though." He says and Karkat nods.

"While trolls are in the minority, our government keeps a close tab on every member that's hatched. It comes with the inherent nature of being a troll that we are deemed...unsavory perhaps?" Karkat says. "I'm still trying to get the understanding of troll laws when it comes to intermingling with human laws under my belt."

"And you have to get specific documents to stay planetside." Sollux agrees.

"Wow, I never realized that there was so much behind the two different governments." You admit, pulling your arm out of Dave's as you reach the entrance of the carnival.

"Don't you have school out here?" Karkat asks with a roll of his eyes. "The treaties are the most important thing to remember-" his voice begins to rise as he speaks, Sollux resting a hand on his shoulder with a grimace.

"Shoosh Karkat, I am not afraid to pap you." Sollux warns.

"Gross public display of affection guys. Take it to a private pile." Dave groans. "I got enough of listening to you two on the bus. Not to mention the weird... You know what, we're at a carnival to unwind and I am going to put the gross troll biology behind me and let myself do just that." Dave says. "I know Rose is all about the buddy system, but I think I'm just going to see if Egbert wants to be my buddy and maybe we can all meet up later, ride the rides again and all that other bullshit. Rose mentioned meeting up around three pm. Sound good?"

"I thought it was our turn to suffer through your unbearable phrases Strider? We have an odd number, everyone gets to have you as a three wheeled device partner when we do something new at least once." Karkat pauses, considering the words. "Yep, feel free to go on your own."

"I'm giving you a break. Don't let Rose know. She may flip off the handle, all light and delicate as she is want to do." Dave winks and you have a feeling that the two trolls would rather be on their own but you clear your throat.

"Just know that the locals don't take well to trolls in this area. Be safe, maybe it would be better if Dave stayed with you." You suggest.

"They seem content to ignore us." Sollux points out, the locals having done their best to ignore the strange group of four. Some had seen you with the trio and you could already tell that the rumors would start flying. It was going to be an interesting summer alright.

"About five years ago, when I first moved here, there was a nest of feral trolls near the woods. They breached town and killed a lot of people before they were put down." You explain, glancing uneasily at the trolls. "Just, be careful if you do go off on your own, okay?"

"Hey Dave, if we got killed by a mob, would that be a just or heroic death?" Karkat asks, his eyes meeting Dave's. You frown, trying to figure out what Karkat meant as Dave shrugs, hands in his pockets.

"Well, if they ganged up on you just because you were a troll, it would be unjust. If you try jumping in front of Sollux and die just to have him die a moment later, it would be heroic for you and you would be fucked." Dave says. "That's just a game though. If we died here Karkat, we die. I don't think there is much merit-"

"Fuck you, it's a great wriggler game!" Karkat shot back, crossing his arms. "Just or Heroic Dave?"

"Neither," he says finally. He rubs his temple with a hand, shaking his head. "If we got caught and killed by an angry mob based on what happened five years ago, then it would be neither. Can we please move on?"

"Thank you, was that so hard?" Karkat asks.

"Yes, it was. If you get attacked by a mob, just let them kill you and I'll come collect your sorry corpses later." Dave suggests, flipping Karkat off before he heads to the smaller line to get tickets. You follow, glancing over your shoulder in worry.

"Will they be okay?" You ask.

"There are two groups of trolls that are running around by themselves. Out of the two, I think Karkat and Sollux are far better off." Dave says. "Hey, thanks for agreeing to be my buddy...I know that you aren't actually part of our crew, so it wouldn't make much sense. But it's better than tagging along with two trolls that will just start doing their pacifying in the middle of a crowd. I don't want to get mixed up in their weird pale quadrants." Dave is rambling as he pulls out money, handing it to the person and taking the tickets he was offered in return. He ignores your attempts to give him money back.

"I never got the troll romance." You laugh. "But then again, we haven't had trolls up in this town since I moved. My dad came here to open his bakery. My mom was caught in the attack."

"Shit, and you don't have a problem with my friends?" Dave asks, glancing at you before heading inside the carnival.

"No, because it wasn't their fault that feral trolls decided to kill people. Some of the town folks believe that all trolls are bad. I just want you to be careful. I... I don't have many friends my own age and I like you all." You scratch the back of your hand, Dave taking your free hand and pulling you towards games.

"That's the shittiest story I've heard in a long time kid. And I hear fourteen other kids' life stories on a daily basis." Dave grins. "Why don't you have any friends?"

"I used to, but when I spent the night at their houses and woke up screaming, rumors started that I was possessed. And when I moved here, I decided it wasn't worth it. There are a couple people from school that I talk to, but it's very irregularly and not worth my time." You wave your hand, looking at the cheesy prizes as Dave lays down a ticket, eyeing the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ on the wall.

"Do you want a very cheesy and colorful hammer?" Dave asks.

"Uhm, sure? Isn't that a replica of one of the legendary weapons that was said to create the universe or whatever?" You ask, looking up at the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ with a raised eyebrow. "Geez, that thing's ugly. I don't see how it would ever be used to make anything."

"Yep, it is truly a legendary piece of shit weapon. I think all legendary weapons are actually pieces of shit that they say are legendary to give it a cooler backstory or whatever." Dave says, picking up one of the darts and glancing at the runner. "How many darts in the center do I have make in order to win the hammer?"

"Twelve, you get four darts per ticket." The woman says with a small smile. "I don't think I've ever have someone even try for that one. Not that are serious anyway. Why not aim for something lower on the totem pole sweetheart?"

"Ah fuck no," Dave says, laying down two more tickets and collecting the darts the runner set down. "This has to be similar to sword fighting, right?" He asks, glancing at you. "Or aiming a gun I guess? Fuck, maybe if i don't win, I'll just ask Vriska for all the luck."

"Dave, you don't have to waste your time-" You let out a whistle as he sails four darts straight to the heart of four different stars with ease. Dave smirks and picks up the next four darts. He hits another four stars, glancing at the woman with a small smile.

"Or not because I am all skill. Skill for miles long, there wouldn't be a planet large enough to describe the amount of skills I carry. When Dave Strider walks into the room, everyone better up and hold their fucking breath for fear that I put my skill to the grind and let them see just how much of a man Strider really is." Dave grins, sinking in another three darts.

"You're going to miss that last one." Someone comments, breaking into Dave's mumbled tirade.

Dave doesn't pay attention, landing the dart with ease. "You were saying Dirk?"

"I guess not," the newcomer says.

You turn to see another kid, looking quite similar to Dave, stand with his hands in his pockets. Another kid with goofy glasses-not that you had much room to talk-and short shorts stands next to him, grinning.

"What a stellar shot that was Dave! You do have an excellent aim. Years of training from Mr. Strider as well?" He asks and you wonder if he spent his early years being taught to talk from movies.

"Just a whole lot of boredom," Dave says and picks up the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ from the lady. He turns it over in his hands, Dirk coming to look at it curiously.

"Bygolly, I forgot to introduce myself! Jake English, explorer extraordinaire," the other kid says, holding out his hand. He's wearing a white shirt with a skull and you feel a sense of familiarity run over you as you take in his appearance. You can't place why he looks familiar. "I was just off on a lovely date with Mr. Strider here when we come across such a delightful and colorful weapon. It reminds me of my younger years... The years spent finding such weapons scattered about and seeing what may come of them. Do you know the old legends of the gods that settled this land?"

"Nope," You say as you listen to him talk. Your mother was interested with the legends, but you didn't put much thought into them. You are straining to hear the conversation between Dirk and Dave as well, curious but only catching a snippet, "fuck-real?" before Jake has your attention once more.

"And what is your name good sir?" He asks, a goofy smile crossing his face and you can't help but smile back.

"John Egbert," you say, taking the offered handshake. "My dad runs a bakery that Karkat must think came from heaven itself."

"Ah, I remember Mr. Vantas carrying on quite well yesterday about those pastries. They were absolutely divine. And ain't that a funny happenstance! My dear, good friend's own dad loves to bake as well. She is such a lovely lass. Does not like Betty Crocker-" He begins.

"Betty Crocker is the worst kind of cooking monster you can come across. She puts the good name of homemade baking in the trash. It is okay if you don't have the time to cook, but as a true baker myself.... Not to mention she took over gushers and they are being proceeded by her as well." You grimace at the thought.

"By golly, the old sea witch strikes once more!" Jake says and...gives you double pistols and a wink before he is whisked off with Dirk. You stare at where they disappeared, Dave holding out the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ in front of your face.

"I'm sorry, he's like a weird mix of all the bad movies. We try to not let him out along with Karkat. Sometimes they need the sunlight though." He jokes. "But... You seem to be suited to have a _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ and why the fuck does it sound like a chorus of that name whenever someone says it? If you want it that is." He says and you nod, taking the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ -even just thinking the name made a chorus sing in your head-and lift it over your shoulder, feeling the weight rest comfortably when you set it on your shoulder.

"What am I supposed to do with the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_?" You ask, blinking as you turn to look for Dave. The sensation of being dragged into unconsciousness is what you are greeted with as you catch sight of his face, shock registering briefly before everything is black.

_It's quiet, the carnival having faded away. You're standing in the dark, the voices quiet. You feel trapped in the same landscape as all of your dreams. On your shoulder is the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ still. You feel its weight more than you can see it. You start to walk, hearing the harshness of your breath in the stillness._

_"Hello?" You call out, lifting the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ from your shoulder and resting it on your other palm. It feels familiar to have the weight there._

_You don't know where you are, but you hear your voice echo back to you. You shudder, closing your eyes and holding the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ once again in one hand as you touch your eyes, making sure they were still there. Something you had tried to do before and never got the chance. But now, there would be no screeching alarm to wake you up._

_You move through the darkness slowly, trying to work out where you were. It annoyed you that you were stuck in such a place, your breath being the only sound you heard. You stop walking, trying to turn and look at where you had walked, only to be greeted by... Glowing footsteps where you walked. You bend down, brushing your hand against them slowly before you heard the voices again._

_"John!"_

_"Don't let him-"_

_"He's..."_

_"Can't be?"_

_"Dead,"_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are consistent chapter sizes?
> 
> I leave for WA tomorrow, I do plan on finishing this. If I just drop off the face of the planet, I am at a farm.

You open your eyes, meeting the gaze of a young troll with maroon eyes locked on yours. You've never woken up in the dark with another being in it before. It surprises and shocks you.

"Are you okay?" She asks and you focus your gaze on her horns spiraling out from her hair. She's a troll. One that you vaguely recall seeing before.

"Aren't you...like...death or something?" You ask, sitting up slowly. You are still in the darkness and it's hard to breathe. The thought makes you panic. Usually when the voices get loud enough, you wake up. But you're still in the darkness. And there is also someone else here. That alone made the panicking sensation worse. However, you did not actually panic.

"I suppose I am an aspect of death," the troll says with a smile, her eyes-you think it's a female troll?-are still on you and you feel uncomfortable under that gaze. "Time ticks, runs down slowly. There are two to greet you. The Maid and the Knight, in the end of times, and into the light."

"I....Isn't that a kid's rhyme?" You ask, sitting up and crossing your legs. You see the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ sitting next to you.

"It's part of one." The troll says, sitting across from you. "Would you want to hear the rest of it?"

"Sure, what else do I have to lose?" You ask, glad that there is someone else in your void. Though, you would have dreamt up of someone that seemed...less creepy if you had regular dreams. "I have plenty of time, right?" You laugh, the troll staring at you with her unnervingly wide smile before she begins to talk once more.

"First came the void, laid out by the hands of one  
She was the rogue that was said to shape it  
Next came the space, woven together by two  
The sylph and the witch were elegant in their craft  
Followed by the light, bent by two  
The thief and the seer, able to exist together  
Then came one, who bleeds all into existence and shapes them  
The knight to give his blood for the people  
Swiftly came the witch to bring the blood to fruition  
The witch to bring those to life  
Soon came the dark, only to bring hope to those that see  
The page to remind existence itself to be strong  
Brought by hope came the heart, connecting all together  
The prince unbroken in heart for everything  
Upon the beating hearts came the mind, to bring knowledge forth  
The seer though blind to all save justice  
Entering the mind, was the rage to sink those high so low  
The bard whose songs would consume  
In the rage, there was brought doom to all that were consumed  
The mage that could not see beyond destruction  
And in the end?  
Time ticks for all, runs down slowly and there are two to greet you  
The maid and the knight, in the end of times and into the light."

You shiver as she finishes, finding it cold when you are not walking in the dark. "Wasn't there an heir?" You ask, your hand on the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ 's handle. You are glad it has stayed with you.

"The heir died before the world was to be formed." the troll's voice is solemn and you shake your head, not believing her words.

"No, I remember a line.... 'On the winds came the breath of the people, the heir to help those breathe.' Then it was followed by the witch of life." You protest, not sure why you are so desperate to argue with this aspect of death.

"'On the winds came the breath of the people; There is the heir to help them breathe' is the exact line." The troll giggles. "You're arguing with one of two of the gods of death. Time, death, all that ends. You're dead John, and from what I can tell... You have been dead for a long time. You've dreamed of here before."

"No, I've always had these dreams." You point out. "Usually there's no one else here. I'm walking and there are voices trying to talk to me. They're angry about something, or upset. It was just...two days ago that the voices stopped and I was walking in the silence." You frown at the troll, shaking your head. You were not dead.

"John," she says, holding out a gray hand. "This is my land of death. No human or troll that still lives could walk in these lands."

"That's not-" you begin. "I'm just asleep, that's right! I was at the carnival, talking with Dave and he won me this stupid hammer for some reason. He and his friends are in town. I don't know why, but I thought it would be a good idea to start hanging out with them. And it is! So far, they've been a lot of fun. I just...fainted for some reason. I'm not dead!" You stand up, voice ringing out. Air flows past you, the troll standing as well. Her smile twists into a grimace as she stares at you.

"John, I am the troll god of death. There isn't a whole lot between myself and the human god of death that's different. Just one happens to be a knight, one happens to be a maid. But you are, if not dead, at least in death's lands. Maybe..." She holds up a hand, and you stop struggling. The footsteps that had been there moments before, or was it hours now? You don't know how long you sat and listened to this figment of your imagination... The glowing footsteps are gone. The only light seems to be coming from the troll.

You don't want the darkness to close around you again.

"I'm not dead!" You snap and watch the image shatter as wind gusts past you. Your hand is on the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ and you feel nauseous as if you're being yanked out of a ride during the middle of it. You shut your eyes, swallowing back the urge and open them to see a pair of shades staring into your face in worry.

"Uh... John? You okay?" Dave asks, holding out his hand. You take it, letting him pull you up as you let your vision focus once more.

"Yeah, I... Where are we?" You sit up, looking around the place in confusion. It's cramped, but there is light coming through the windows. Stuff is scattered everywhere on the seats and the floor.

"Well, you blacked out at the carnival, so I dragged your sorry ass onto our bus. I figured your dad would have freaked if I brought you to the bakery like that. Besides, you're heavy and I couldn't have carried you that far." Dave says with a frown. You had a feeling he was worried about you.

"I think I met death," you say and start laughing. "Who would have thought death was a troll?"

"You....saw death?" Dave frowns. He has his phone at the ready as you nod, making a call before you could get another word in. "Hey Aradia, can you please come to the bus? This is a super important, urgent thing that I need you for, like yesterday. Nope, I will explain when you get here. Yes, Roxy can come along to. Please Aradia, this is-"

Dave pulls his phone from his face when the bus doors open and in walks a blond haired teenager that could pass for Rose's twin-maybe you'd ask them about it later?-and the troll from your nightmares.

"Okay Dave, what's so urgent?" The troll, you think her name is Aradia, asks, turning maroon eyes on you. They widen a bit before she claps her hands. You frown when she frowns at you, crossing her arms thoughtfully. "How...strange,"

You don't understand as she begins to chew on her lip, her face contorting through several shapes you thought a mouth was unable to make. You did not like this troll. "What's going on?" You ask, propped up against a seat.

"Strange you think? What happened?" Dave asks and you feel like a child, listening to grownups argue and ignore you.

"I don't know. I've never seen..." Aradia frowns, taking a step closer and you want nothing more than to move further away from her.

"Do you think-" Dave begins and you let out a sort of frustrated growl.

"No, fuck this." You say, standing and nearly falling back down. The urge to throw up is stronger once more. You allow Dave to sit you back down. You do not like being the weak at the knee type of guy. "I am not going to be ignored."

"Sorry John, didn't mean to ignore you." Dave says, glancing at you and you can hear the apology in his voice.

"Davey, is that...?" Roxy walks over, plopping in the seat next to you and looking at the colorful hammer curiously.

"Sure is," Dave says, his gaze not leaving Aradia as the troll tries to fish around for something.

"What is going on?" You demand, not expecting and not receiving any sort of answer. They keep talking over you instead.

"The answer, Dave, is yes. Let's go for a walk, shall we?" She asks, extending her hand.

"Will you keep an eye on John?" Dave asks, looking at Roxy.

You snort, trying to decide when this group of people decided to make themselves your personal protectors. Maybe you should have just stayed in the bakery.

"Yeah," Roxy says with a nod. You glance between them, watching the troll and human walk off the bus. You glance at Roxy after a moment, adjusting so you can see her better. She's backlit by the sun behind her and you have to squint a bit to get a better view of her features. "You're John, yeah?" She asks.

"I guess. Roxy?" You ask, feeling stupid. Of course she would be Roxy. That is what Dave called her earlier.

"Yep, it's a pleasure. Your dad's baking is off the wall," she grins. "So, what got Dave all up in a fit?"

"I don't know," you grunt. "I guess I blacked out and when I told him I saw the troll god of death, he sort of freaked out and here you are. I wasn't told a whole lot of anything and they both decided to leave without actually answering any of my questions." You shrug, the memory of the poem coming back to you. "Have you ever...heard of a poem describing the creation of this world? It is probably from one specific religion or whatever, but... It might have also been converted into a kids' rhyme for a game or something."

"Yeah, I remember hearing that one!" Roxy says, grinning. She nudges you with an elbow, winking. "What about it?"

"The troll god of death told me about it." You say, face straight as you speak. You repeat what you had heard, Roxy nodding slowly as she asked you to repeat a couple of the lines. "And then the troll god of death said that I got a line slightly wrong. It was about the heir of breath. Which, when she first told me the poem, she didn't even include a line about an heir. It just felt like it was missing. Oh, and she was quite rude by trying to tell me I was dead. We argued, I told her I wasn't dead and I'm not. I'm quite alive. See?" You poke at your arm, Roxy letting out a snort.

"Kid, kid, we're all real and we're all dead. Pieces of void is in everyone, the stars are in everyone. Everyone is dead, everyone is alive. It's just a matter of perspective." Roxy says, sitting straight and closing her eyes thoughtfully. "I do think you saw the troll god of death. Not that she's particularly fond of doing the job... The gods are something that are tricky and hard to explain. But, you got the right group of people to talk to about it. And who did this god look like?"

"The troll that walked out with Dave." you say, wrapping your mind around everything that happened. "But...the gods aren't real. All these gods are made up, myths."

"Aren't all stories based in part truth? What do you know kid?" Roxy asks, curious. "What do you think about the world?"

You hesitate, shaking your head slowly. "Science is what I believe in." You decide, though you didn't follow up on many scientific discoveries. You believed in the hard facts it provided you.

"And if someone could prove you're dead, that science is only as true as you want it to be and an utter lie, and that gods are real?" Roxy asks, amusement in her eyes.

"Are you Rose's twin?" You ask, not wanting to think of the implications of that question.

"Oh, you have met Rose prior?" Roxy asks, not commenting on the chance of subject. "Yeah, we're something like sisters. It's a bit confusing to explain. I'm older than her. Wait, cousins, that's the word I'm looking for! I'm an amazing hacker and forget that we're cousins. We grew up like siblings, so we've always called each other siblings. But our mothers are sisters."

"But you're all about to start your senior year of high school?" You inquire.

"Yep, birthdays are a weird thing John. I think Aradia and Dave are going be as long as they care to be. Do you want to go back to the carnival?" Roxy asks. "I'm here to ride some sick rides and have a great time."

You nod, getting up and finding that you no longer feel sick upon standing. "Wait, wasn't I told to stay in the bus?" You ask, glancing around it.

"Yes, but Dave is... Well, Dave. He can handle you not staying in the bus." Roxy promises. "Besides, if there's any more trouble, I'll take you to the bus myself and he'll never have to know John." She says, taking your wrist in her hand and whisking you back towards the carnival. You glance at the _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ and decided that, since it was the likely cause of all of this, it could stay on the bus for all you cared.

"So, what do you know about the poem?" You ask as Roxy leads you towards one of the rides, a small roller coaster that was a permanent fixture, though only used when the carnival was in town.

"It's stating how this universe was created," Roxy says. "And by which elements lead which part. But, it's probably just some kids' old rhyme, like mother goose fairy tales and rhymes."

"You got all of that from a short poem?" You are impressed as you line up in the queue, watching it go down fairly quickly.

"I have a...special interest in debunked mythology." Roxy says, waving down the line when she spots two other friends. They glance at her before stepping out of line and making their way to your spot, despite you two being further back. "Janey, Jade, are you two having lots of fun? This is John. He's from the bakery Karkat absolutely won't shut up about."

"Hello," The long haired girl says, turning a smile on you. You feel your stomach drop out, but you don't faint this time, as you recognize her voice from your dreams. You nod, swallowing down the unease settling in the back of your throat before you talk.

"Hey, I'm John. Pleasure to meet you two," you say with a smile.

"I'm Jade, this is Jane." Jade says, pushing hair out of her face and you can picture her with dog ears. The thought makes you grimace, wondering why you would want to picture anyone with dog ears before you realize she's actually wearing dog ears.

"Jade, you got the ears on again," Roxy says and Jade moves a hand up, touching them before seemingly taking them off and shoving them in her pocket.

"I forgot about those, thank you. What are you two up to? I thought you were with Aradia today Roxy?" Jade asks, gaze darting back and forth between you and Roxy as the line moves forward, inch by inch.

"Yeah, but she and Dave had to go talk about some things. So, I'm hanging out with John because the bus is cramped and boring and the carnival is so much more fun." Roxy grins.

"You look extremely pleased with yourself," Jane comments, smiling at her friend.

"You know what John reminded me of?" Roxy grins, bouncing on the ball of her feet.

"No?" Jade says with a frown.

"The poem of the aspects," Roxy says and repeats it while you stand, moving ever closer to the ride. You see several folks that frequent the bakery staring at you and the three girls and they give you odd looks. You decide to shrug them off, keeping your gaze focused on what Roxy was saying. Her reciting the poem was different than the troll god of death reciting it. It sounded more... You couldn't place why it was so different. It sounded hollow, but still true. It sounded endless to you, vast like a void.

You get to the front of the queue and then you're on the ride. You're at the very front with Roxy next to you, Jade and Jane sitting right behind you. You feel your vision narrow as the ride takes off, your hands holding on tightly to the bar in front of you. You feel your soul lift as the car takes off, launching you onto the tracks and leaving your stomach far behind you.

You let out a loud whoop, hearing Jane scream and Jade laughing. Roxy is whooping right along with you, her eyes shining as she glances at you. "It feels like you're flying!" She says, you barely catching the words.

"Yeah!" You agree, laughing with her. You're upset when the ride is over. And you feel better than you have in a week. You move out of the car, taking a breath and planting your feet firmly on the earth. "That was... That was a lot more fun than it usually is."

"Thanks," Roxy says. "Wonk wonk,"

"Aren't you suppose to just wink? And not say anything?" You ask.

"It comes from a text error from our younger years." Jane explains.

You glance at Roxy with a nod, wondering if you could get a high from riding the roller coaster. You gaze looks back down the line, settling on a pair of horns in line and you want to ride again. "Want to ride again?" You ask, interested in meeting more of the trolls as well.

"Sure," Roxy grins back.

"I am going to sit the next one out." Jane decides, Jade nodding in agreement. "It seems like it was faster than needed. I am more happy with my feet on the ground. See you late Roxy!"

"We're going to play some games!" Jade adds, running away and Jane moves to follow her. You head over to the two trolls, Roxy grinning at them and hugging one happily.

"Hey Terezi, Vriska, how are you enjoying the day?" She asks, letting Terezi go as you join them in queue.

"Everything smells so bright and pretty!" Terezi says and you see that she has her cane tucked under her arm and glasses perched on her nose. There is a slight grumble from the few people behind you but the trolls simply shrug it off. "I'm Terezi, this is my partner in crime. You must be John I'm smelling." She holds out a hand and you take it.

"Vriska," the other troll said with a roll of her eyes, tossing hair over her shoulder. "You didn't even saaaaaaaay my name Terezi! If you call me your partner in crime, you have to give them a name!"

"Oh, right." Terezi chuckles and you snicker as you move up in line.

"Pleasure to meet you," you say with a nod. "Name's John. I was hanging out with Dave and Karkat earlier, then things happened... Now I'm hanging out with Roxy. I'm enjoying hanging out with you."

"That's because all our trouble friends are dead-" Vriska began, Terezi pressing her cane into Vriska's foot with a sharp hiss.

"If you've met shouty, then you're probably okay with all of us. No one is as loud as he." Terezi cackles and you feel a shiver run down your spine. The cackle alone felt like it could break your mind.

"I have a strange fondness for weird people," you decide. It was the only place that you felt normal. The line begins to move again and you look up with growing anticipation.

"Say John, do you know how-" Vriska's question is cut off as you are getting onto the ride. You sit down, holding your breath for only a moment before the cars take off, your laughter pushing Vriska's question out of your mind.

It's the same feeling as before, feeling like you're flying on the ride, the wind singing to you. Once you're off, the trolls take you and Roxy to some more games. Vriska seems to be enjoying herself, winning at any game she sets her eye on. When you look closely, you see she was a metal arm for her left arm and you wonder if that gives her an unfair advantage. You see Jade in the distance at one point, playing one of the shooting games. You sink into the fun times, Dave and Aradia's conversation fading from your mind.

Around three pm, you follow Roxy to the food area, the smell making your stomach grumble. You and Roxy had rode the roller coaster too many times for you to count and you hadn't seen anyone else in the group yet. When you do get to the food area, you see Dave, Rose, and two of the trolls clustered together. Roxy takes your hand, waving with her free one and strides over.

"Davey, you can't just ditch your friend on our bus." She says, you glancing at her with a faint frown. "We've ridden the roller coaster so many times. It's amazing. It feels like flying. Have you taken a ride on it yet?"

"I found the roller coaster to be rather tame." Rose says, glancing up and smiling at you. "Hello John, how are you today?"

"Well, my subconscious has decided that I should meet the troll god of death when I passed out. That was..." You shrug, not sure what to say on the subject.

"Oh, and what did the troll god of death look like?" The tall, elegant troll-you thought her name was Kanaya?- asks.

"Like her," you say, nodding at Aradia. The troll flashes you a smile, her eyes wide as she bounces up and down excitedly.

"That's fascinating! What did you two talk about?" She asks, rushing forward and taking your hands in hers and... Okay, she was starting to look really creepy the closer she got to you and you felt that she was too excited about the fact that you met a so claimed troll god of death. You relax when Dave rests a hand on her shoulder, shaking his head.

"Take a step back Aradia, no need to crowd him. Roxy, what do you think?" Dave asks and you frown.

"If you want to talk about me, I could leave." You say, taking a step back from Aradia. She's still too close, despite Dave having pulled her back to give you space.

"We're sorry John, none of us mean to talk like you aren't here. You just remind us of a dear friend we lost." Rose says, taking a seat and gesturing for you to do the same. "Perhaps tomorrow, you and I can talk at the bakery? Karkat had informed us of your offer to come over and enjoy sample pastries."

"Yeah, that's still an option." You say with a nod as more of the group came over. You would hate to retract the offer when they were being nice to you after all. Soon, there were sixteen of you crowded around the tables and you're being introduced to those you still don't know and hadn't met.

"Where are you guys from?" You ask, watching as the trolls bicker over food. You're sitting with Rose and Dave, the two glancing at each other before they shrug.

"Around," Dave says. "I come from Texas, Rose was...."

"I don't think there was a name for my hometown." Rose says with a smile. "But we're all part of a boarding school. It's rather..."

"It's a shitstain on the world," Karkat states as he plops down in the chair to your right. Rose grimaces, shaking her head.

"It's not a bad school Karkat." She shoots back. You hear the shuffle of Terezi, the blind girl sitting behind you in a chair she had dragged over to the table.

"No, it's not a bad school. It's just boring and I would much prefer if I didn't have to go back." Karkat says, crossing his arms and glaring at Rose. "But, that's neither here nor there, is it?"

"No, I suppose not." She agrees, taking a short breath. "John, what about you?"

"Oh, me? I don't have friends, work at the bakery in my free time, and enjoy playing the piano." You say, feeling like it was a dumb list. You had a boring life, not many things happened to you and you were okay with this. You were happy with your dull life.

"That sounds like a drag," Vriska says, leaning into the small space that was left at the table. "But with us around for the couple of weeks, maybe we can make your life a bit more....inteeeeeeeeresting?" She waggles her eyebrows and you roll your eyes in turn.

"Down Vriska," Terezi suggests, taking a sip of her drink. "Mmm, the red tastes so yummy!"

"You're weird," you decide and Vriska cackles at you.

"I'm blind John, why are you making fun of the blind girl?" She asks, staring straight into your eyes-or you assume, she has such strange glasses on. Her face is straight and she doesn't sound like she could have been laughing just a moment ago. You gulp before you see her break into a wide grin and stick her tongue at you. "Nah, it's fine. I have accepted my blindness, it is me John."

"So, if you're blind, how do you...sense stuff?" You ask.

"Oh! I taste things with my tongue and smell." Terezi edges closer to you, her smile seeming to grow wider. "It's so great John! There is a larger world than only seeing can give you. There are many different shades of one color. For instance, your shirt is about three very light different blues, but it all seems the same to your eye. You smell of....wind?" She cocks her head to the side to get a better sniff, moving closer to you. "There are nuances that I could not smell before."

You scoot back in your chair, Karkat glaring at you when you get too close. He glances at Terezi, Vriska letting out a laugh of her own. "I think you should give the human some space Terezi," she suggests.

"But space isn't my thing," Terezi says, sitting back when Kanaya clears her throat. Vriska and Terezi get up after a moment, letting the others know that they were going to venture back out to the carnival. You bid them farewell, Jake and Dirk peeling off next. Soon, you are left with Dave, Rose, and Karkat. The three glance at each other before glancing at you. You sit in silence as you finish eating, staring at the table as the others stare around and at you.

"I feel awkward now," Karkat decides, standing up. "I'm going to find Kanaya," he heads out as quickly as he can and you see him collide with Jade, the girl answering his question before she comes to the table and sits down in his empty chair.

"It's strange... I feel like I've met you before." You say, looking at the three kids sitting at the table with you. "And... Geez, Dave already saw me collapse. Can I tell you something stupid?"

"Sure," Dave says, Jade raising an eyebrow and mouthing Rose a question that you don't catch.

"I feel like I've heard your voices before." You glance down at your half eaten fries, trying to decide if you should have told them that. To late to take it back now.

"Maybe it was fated that we were to meet." Rose says with a smile. "I am glad that we get to meet you John. It feels right that we ran across you."

You go to reply, hearing your phone ring. You dig it out of your pocket instead, answering your father's call. "Hey dad,"

"Hey John, I'm sorry to interrupt you. Is there any chance you can come back to the bakery a bit early? I hate to cut you short on your day off..." You hear a clatter and you nod, realizing he wouldn't be able to see you.

"Yeah, I did everything there was to do at the carnival. I'll be back home in about thirty minutes. See you then! Love you," you hang up the phone, glancing at your new found friends.

"Do you have to go so soon?" Jade asks, smiling sadly at you. "It was fun riding on the roller coaster together. We'll have to do it again!"

"Yeah, you all should stop by the bakery tomorrow morning. I'll make sure that I can get you some pastries... I'm sorry, I realize that I don't know you very well and I'm acting like we're best friends..." You hesitate, looking between the three pairs of eyes.

Jade smiles at you, shaking her head. "Don't worry! We like making new friends John! We'll see you in the morning!" She waves, Dave and Rose bidding their farewells. You feel lighter when you walk out of the carnival, happy to have made friends, even if they were only temporary. And if you had time, you would research the poem your troll god of death gave you while you were passed out.

Actually, you are starting to wonder why you passed out in the first place.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter but is very important.

You open your eyes, staring at the darkness. You don't remember going to bed, but you do remember the clatter of cleaning the dishes. After the dishes, you had gone up stairs and taken a shower. From there...

"Fuck, did I pass out in the shower?" You curse, but no, you do faintly remember going back to your room and sitting down. Yes, you did lay down before you passed out. That was comforting to know. You stand up, looking around the landscape and all there was not to see. You wonder if you were blind in this world and that's why you never saw anything. You raise your hand, shielding your eyes, with the hope that you would be able to see.

"John!"

You turn, looking at the troll with a sigh. "Are you... Are you really the same Aradia that I saw at the carnival today?"

"How would you like me to answer that question?" The troll asks, folding her hands in front of her. She plops down on the ground, her light filling the space.

"Okay, how about... Where are we?" You try, seeing something metal shine under her. It was the ground but when you looked closer, it was dirt underneath your feet. You realize you are not wearing clothes at that moment but the thought passes quickly.

"I am not sure how to answer that either," Aradia says after a moment. "To answer your first question, yes. Aradia at the carnival is the same as the Aradia you see sitting before you now. The gods are alive John."

"So you're the maid of time?" You ask, leaning forward. "Are all of your friends gods?"

"Do you ever dream about people?" Aradia asks, ignoring your question for the time being.

"Voices and darkness," you explain, looking around the area. "It smells fresh here though. Like we're not underground. But it's so dark..."

"That's strange," Aradia chuckled, watching you. "Will you take my hand?"

"Are you going to kill me?" You ask.

"No John, I think you already have died. I think you're dying every night you go to bed." She breathes, voice seeming to hang in the air between you.

"No, if I died, I would be dead, not walking around like I am." You say, gesturing to yourself.

"I spent my formative years before I became a god as a ghost." Aradia says, voice flat. She shakes her head, offering her hand to you once more. It's pale and you wonder if she's tell the truth. You look at the gray skin, wondering if you should try to take it. You lift up your hand, frowning.

"If I take your hand, am I going to be lead off to my death?" You ask, staring at the troll.

"No, I promise not to take you to an afterlife. I still think they're you're dying every night though. But if you're this persistent that you are alive, I can't take you away." Aradia shakes her head, flashing you a disconcerting smile. "I want to show you something John."

'"Will I remember it in the morning?" You only ever remember black and voices. Maybe this one would be different. You don't think you want to remember meeting this troll in your dreams. You nod, taking her hand.

"I don't know John," Aradia replies, lacing your fingers together and you're off. You're flying over dark landscape and then you feel the void on your skin. From the void, you watch the lands grow, several planets seeming to appear from nowhere. You try to breathe, finding yourself unable to, and you can see figures move. There are three. One crafts the void, two craft the space. Then, you are bathed in lights from hundreds of places, two figures joining the first three. They are looking at their work, their figures warping. You're on a planet now, bathed in light. Little details could be made and you find yourself with your mouth wide open.

Then you see someone, close enough that you can tell who he is and you watch Karkat bleed until blood overflows the planets. You watch figures clamber out of the mess and you swallow as you feel the breeze on your face.

_"You're all so quiet and sullen!"_ The voice laughs and you listen to Karkat curse. _"Are you going to tell the world that it was made in silence? Come on now! Be a little more creative!"_

Your hair lifts, you feel the wind on your face and the clay figures made from blood open their eyes, staring at the bright sky. You watch another figure come to play, the air filling the people and making them move. The witch crafted the air to make life. It begins to grow dark and you see a beacon of hope flare out. And the people move, interact. There's heartbreak and you feel your own heart breaking and mending at the sight. You're filled with the knowledge that things could be okay.

You see another craft their knowledge and you see them learn and grow, become civilized and, still, you feel the wind on your face. It plays and sings like the other elements never do. But then comes rage boiling across the landscape and you nearly let go of Aradia's hand as it hits you. From the rage, you feel doom, the end. The beings are in a blind panic. And finally, come another figure of the troll next to you and...someone you can't make out a hundred percent. But you know who it is, deep down. He's wearing shades. And the beings below finish their life cycles, both humans and trolls. They get lead off and you watch the planets bloom. There are six in all and you are amazed. Each planet has its own universe, its own life.

Aradia takes a step back and you are back in the darkness once more, the weight of what you learned pressing down. You want to scream, you want to rage. You want to cry and you want to laugh. The emotions conflict in you before settling into confusion.

"That was this universe's beginning," Aradia says simply. "But not ours. I cannot step back further in time, but there is more, I promise you. There was a game we played, a game the humans played after our session finished. And before us, a group of our ancestors that played and reset their own game. Though, we would have been their ancestors in the beginning. And after the humans scratched their game, there came another set of humans. Then we made it here."

"How long have you been in this world?" You ask, the question confusion yourself. You're not sure where it came from. It would haven't been the first thing someone sensible asks upon seeing the start of the universe.

"Two years since the game ended and countless time since this universe was created by us." Aradia breaths, getting up and nodding at you. "I must go. You will wake soon. See you in the morning John!" She leans over, kissing your forehead before you are alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! I have much more down time than expected on the farm. But, I am also very tired and don't have the brain power to write when I'm not on shift. So, enjoy the chapter. I think one or two chapters left? But I think I have been saying that for the last couple chapters too. Also shorter chapter cause constant chapter size, what?

You stare up at your ceiling, feeling small. You can't shake the feeling that you learned something important last night, but you can't recall what it was. Already, you hear your dad downstairs, getting everything started. You crawl out of bed before getting up, feeling your head ache. You felt too small, you had too many questions, and you felt lighter than air.

You quickly get dressed before heading down the stairs. It's dark except in the kitchen and you open the door quietly as to not disturb your father. You nod at him as you grab an apron, beginning to get the pastry case started. You lay out the goods, humming to yourself. You go up and unlock the door when it is time, staring into the darkness beyond and shivering, wishing you could recall the dreams. But you can't beyond the wind in your hair and the darkness. Maybe you talked to someone?

You shrugged the thought off and went back to setting up. It's nearly an hour before your first customers walk in. You help them, feeling almost disappointed when you don't see the people you spoke with yesterday. You push the sadness aside, beginning on the last part of the case. As you work on the case, you start to remember the feeling of talking to the troll.

The words slip away, but you get the feeling of watching the worlds be created. You felt a strange sensation flood you the longer you try to think about it, like you should remember something more but you don't. It's darkness, followed by loud voices. Screaming at you to run.

"Hello, how can I help you?" You ask, glancing up when you hear the bell ding. The voices are still screaming in your head when you register who had walked in. "Hey Karkat,"

"Hey John, any sample pastries?" Karkat asks, moving to lean against the counter.

"Yeah; is anyone else with you?" You ask, listening to the voices jumble together. You can't make out any words and then, they fall silent when Karkat starts talking.

"No, they're still sleeping. I slipped out early. I... Couldn't stand just laying there anymore." Karkat shrugs. "I have issues sleeping sometimes. It's nothing to call home about. I make due as I can."He watches you as you finish setting up the cases, turning to him.

"I get how it is. Hey, I'm going to take a break dad!" You call, grabbing a couple of pastries you thought Karkat would like and heading over to an empty table. You set the pastries down, Karkat following you curiously. "So, if I give you the pastries, will you answer some questions for me?" With the silencing of the voices, the nagging presence of the figures working had returned.

Karkat scowls but ponders the question. "It depends on the questions I guess." He says finally, sitting down across from you. "But....if you ask me questions, I will be guaranteed pastries?"

"Yeah, and in turn you can ask me questions if you want." You say. "So..you're obviously a troll. But, how'd you get here?" You could have sworn he was the one that bled to create.

"Don't they teach basic biology in your school?" Karkat asks, resting his elbow on the table and putting his cheek against his head. "Okay, so when two trolls really love each other..."

"Come on, I _know_ trolls have different biology set ups." You sigh. "The real story, that's the one I am wanting. Not the bs they fed us in class."

"Okay, so...At one point in our history, we had drones that would come around and you had to have genetic material to provide with both your kismesis and matesprit. But now.... You do still turn in genetic material with your concupiscent quadrants. We submit it to the mother grub, who is cared for by the jade bloods. Ugh, I don't want to go into the whole thing. It's traumatizing even now with the reforms." Karkat grimaces at the thought, shaking his head.

"Oh, I won't ask about it again then." You shuffle to the side, adjusting your seat. You didn't want to be told about troll biology, you had other questions you wanted answered. Maybe if you just phrased it differently. "What's your take on the tales of gods?"

"Is that what you originally meant?" Karkat asks, snagging a donut and biting into it.

"Yeah, I didn't need to know about biology. I was better off not knowing about troll biology." You say with a nod.

"Why the sudden interest?" Karkat asks once he finishes his pastry.

"I wouldn't call it sudden." You protest, looking at Karkat. "Just...okay, so it may be sudden from your perspective after what happened yesterday...."

"What did happen yesterday? Did Strider tell you something? He says you fainted and then wouldn't tell us anything else. Is he using that as a cover up story?" Karkat demands.

"Uhm, Dave didn't tell me anything. I don't know why he would be using it as a cover up story? I mean, I did faint. And when I did, I...talked with the troll god of death and that struck an interest that I did not realize I had until yesterday." You say. "And she showed me...she showed me something I don't know how to explain. It was the beginning, but it was..." You hesitate, unsure of how to express what you saw. "It was a wordless creation until the wind came. I don't know, the longer I think on it, the harder it gets to focus on it."

"She showed you what?" Karkat asks, trying to process.

"There were these figures, creating." you say, trying to explain the best you could. "It was....intense. Universes came into existence with just a single movement of hand. But these things... They looked like they were teenagers."

"Why did she show you that?" Karkat asks and you shrug.

"I don't know. I thought it was some weird dream. It was far more interesting than what I usually dream anyway. So you do know something about it then?" You press.

"Egbert, you're getting into dangerous territory." Karkat says. "Hand me another donut and maybe I can get some knowledge into that thick skull of yours."

You pass him another donut, keeping an eye on the door. So far, no one had come through this morning.

Karkat takes it, looking you up and down. "What do you want to know?" He asks finally. "Out of all the shit that you have been told, what do you want to know?"

"I am more interested in the story of the heir of breath. What happened to him?" You ask, placing your hands in your lap.

"He disappeared shortly after everything was created." Karkat said simply. "We don't know where he disappeared too."

"We? So you're one of the gods." You guess, a grin crossing your features.

"No John, I'm not." Karkat sighs. resting his chin in his hand. "We are kids that didn't know what we were doing. But we weren't and aren't gods. Did the troll god of death give you a name?"

"If she did, I don't remember it." You admit. "She was wearing red and had wings. There was a gear on her chest. She looked like she could ram a door down with her horns." You try to pull the details out of your dream, but they flee as soon as you try.

"Aradia," Karkat nods to himself, watching you for a moment longer. The bell rings and you look up, watching the others from the bus filter in. There looks to be about sixteen in total, the number Dave or Karkat had given you yesterday and you get up, Dave coming to take the seat across from Karkat.

"Hello, how can I help you?" You ask, looking at Rose.

"Three dozen donuts, baker's choice." She says with a smile and you nod, beginning to get the donuts ready. "How are you today John?"

"I'm...doing okay," you say as you begin to select donuts and pastries that you believe would suit the group. Already, you can pick out most of the humans, remembering their names from yesterday and even some of the trolls look familiar. Your eyes land on Aradia and you feel the back of your neck prick, a cold sweat starting to form.

"You don't sound all too convinced about that statement." She smiles at you, teeth flashing before turning her attention back to the troll in front of her, talking to them happily. You go back to getting pastries, feeling Rose's eyes on you.

"I mean, I've been better and I've been worse. So, doing okay isn't too bad." You say, setting the box on the counter and grabbing the empty one. "I was talking to Karkat earlier and I have to ask... Are you the Seer of Light?"

"Now John, where would you get such ideas?" Rose asks and you feel as if you two are the only ones in the bakery as she looks at you. Every piece of you feels frozen and you want to hide behind anything that you can. You continue putting in the donuts, nearly losing track of the number.

"What happened to the Heir of Breath?"


	6. Chapter 6

_You wake up, everything is icy around you. It's hard to breathe and your breath is coming out in small little puffs. It's cold, it's wet and you don't know who you are. All you know is you're floating. There is a question nagging at you. Something that had gone wrong. A little something that went sideways when you walked through the door. You close your eyes, trying to figure out what went wrong._

_What was that something that shouldn't have been there?_

_You look at the wide sky, laughter on the wind. Around you, your friends are chatting. The work is done. Time is moving much faster. The worlds will be to a point that you can interact with them on your own level soon enough. You watch with Dave different points in history. You talk to Karkat about the meteor and you forget the horrors, or you try. You try to recover from the damage done. And everyone finds it hard._

_No one is keeping track and when it comes to it, you're all caught off guard. And you stride forth, your laughter on the wind, buoying you with confidence as you tell those around you that you will be right back. But something is wrong, even as you walk away from them. The figure is a shadow. One last remnant of a game none of you ever want to think about again. But it was there, it was always there._

_You take up your _Warhammer of Zillyhoo_ and stride forth. You know you aren't the best fighter by far. But the others surely have more stake in living as long as they could. They were happy. You... To be honest, you didn't even have your father any more and it hurt every time you saw Jane's dad. He was, theoretically, still Dad. But it wasn't the same as your dad. You hear the voices, disjointed as you fly to meet the threat, staring the troll in the eyes._

_And you can hear them call out, despite them being far away._

_"John!" Rose seems to stay._

_"John, remember that we have to be careful!" Jade calls out._

_"Fuck, you can't!" Dave warns, unable to think of anything else._

_"I swear to troll Jesus John, if you don't-" Karkat interjects._

_"Wouldn't troll Jesus just be your ancestor?" Dave asks Karkat, breaking the troll's sentence._

_"Don't worry, I'll be fine! I'll be able to do this right!" You shout back, confident._

_"I do not think that this is wise." Rose advises._

_"Please let's reconsider." Jade begs. You think that is Jade._

_"No, it has to be done! I can do it!" You protest._

_"No, you ca-" Someone begins to say but they go silent._

_You tune out their words, pushing them away with the wind as you meet the troll wearing smeared greasepaint and you wrinkle your nose. It doesn't smell like he had a shower in ages. You raise your hammer up high and let out a yell. A challenge, and you know without knowing that neither of you would walk away unscratched. But, you were going to do your best to not let him walk away._

"And so the Heir fought the Bard and they fought until they died John. That's what happened to the Heir." She whispers.

You stare at Rose, trying to process what she was saying, what she had meant. The donut box is still in your hand, but it's shaking. You put it on the counter, looking at the girl in front of you. You open your mouth, Rose holding up a hand and shaking her head slowly.

"Did you see the fight?" She asks and you nod, unsure if you could even find the words you wanted. "The Bard was killed, as was the Heir. It was a just death John. The Heir believed he had nothing left in this universe and perhaps he was more right than we gave him credit for. We lived the span of the universe in just two years John. What did happen to the heir? What happened to you?"

The room is quiet and you realize nearly no one is moving but Rose, Dave, and Jade. You watch Dave shift in his seat, clearing his throat. "I can't hold the time much longer Rose."

"Are you saying I'm the heir?" You ask.

"Yes John!" Jade says, nodding quickly. "That is what Rose is saying."

"I died," you say slowly.

"Yeah, we had to bury your body. I don't think they even did that for Gamzee. Left him out for the crows. It was an easier way to make sure he didn't get the fuck back up again." Dave says with a cold laugh, standing straight and looking at you. "We miss you John."

"But... I... Who am I?" You whisper, feeling the air around your chest tighten. "Am I still a god?"

"We have a thought on that." Rose says simply. "Your body decayed, but your mind continued on and force reset your own timeline into this. If that is truly the case, then yes, you are still a god. But you have to remember John."

"Remember the pain, the uncertainty." You pause, looking at your hands. "I guess Aradia's right, I'm dead."

It's painful, the realization. And you look up, watching the world shimmer. The air is getting harder to breath and you feel a weight like you haven't in a long time. Then you simply...break free. You aren't dead, you are the Heir of Breath. You fought the Bard, and while in a slumber, created your own landscape to keep yourself sane. But you are alive. And it's been two years since the game ended.

"What's eternity to a god?" You whisper, feeling the pain burst forth. You were alone, you had survived. But you had only fought after they had perished at the hands of the Bard.

"What's two years?" You ask, and know that they would come again. And again, and again. Until you were run down with grief. Two years was a long time for the world, and such a short time to you. You were alone, alone until they came again. It was time to begin your searching. You would never end the searching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not expect it to take that ending. Which is why I was having such a hard time finishing it yesterday. I didn't want it to go down that route, but it was the route that the story itself took.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and I'm sorry if this is a really disappointing ending. But to help you get through what may be a confusing chapter:
> 
> Gamzee killed the other "gods" after they created the game. He did it, one at a time, slowly, over the course of two years. John was the last to "die". He had the spirits of others keeping him alive. He defeated Gamzee, went into a coma, trapped himself in the coma to recuperate, and when he was ready to face everything that happened, gave himself a door out. And now, he gets to, maybe, save the others? I don't know. They're all trapped in some weird bubble like that, recovering their strength.
> 
> Actually, if I have time, I might make one shots of John....ohhh, that is a great idea!


End file.
